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- You saw someone beating your mum, you rushed into the house to fetch a weapon and found someone in bed with your wife. Which would u attend to 1st?
- Nollywood please na! How can a ghost fall down while chasing someone?
- Are you feeling abandoned, neglected and you want your friends to have you at heart & constantly stay in touch? Borrow money from all of them & travel
- You're in church, sermon is going on and you're seriously busy changing Dp and Pm. What makes you better than the man Who's not in church?
- MTN should sponsor NYSC, so that there will be no service.
- Your boyfriend should not be your source of income. My dear it’s a relationship, not a job opportunity.
- Only in Nollywood that someone will die with an Afro and his spirit will come back with low cut. Abi Barbing salon dey that side?
- You Don't Need a car to Impress a LAUTech Girl… Just Wear a Starched Shirt and Hold a Car key!
- Nollywood will not kill Somebody… How can you open a casket and the corpse is sweating?
- Kim K 's stay in Nigeria reminds me of mercy johnson's verse in Aboki rmx.
- Which of these is the Hardest to find in Nigeria. (A) Virgins (B). Jobs (C). True Love ?
- 1970: You’ve to pull down the Panties to see the Buttocks.
2010: You’ve to separate the Buttocks to see the Panties
- Shoutout to the girls that lost their virginity on Feb. 14. RIP Virginity!
- Be careful Ladies, if you use the Electric Vibrator near Water, You will CUM and GO at the same time.
- Dear satan,just swallow the shame and apologize to God so that we will all go and live happily in d garden of Eden. As Fire dey burn you so, e sweet?
- If she has cough and catarrh before valentine, I don't see anything bad in wrapping Benylin and Tom Tom as her valentine gift.
- Life is too short to ask a stammerer for directions.
- That Mogbe Moment when you've been dubbing someone in an exam then suddenly, the person cancels the whole Page. *Dies*
- Some girls will have "Model" written in their bio's, yet the only places you'll see them modeling is with toilet mirrors.
- Men at 25 play Football, men at 40 play Tennis, men at 60 play Golf. Have you noticed that as you grow older your balls get smaller?
- Your BF beats you on a daily basis, yet you put his picture up and your BBM status reads 'You
bring out the best in me'... Are you a rag?
- You take picture, e no fine, you come dey claim say 'beauty is from within' .... Why you no take X-ray?
- Golden Morn is good, Corn Flakes is better. But at the mention of IJEBU GARRI every Flake must bow.
- Don't Ever do a Long distance relationship, masturbating to a Voice message from London is not your calling.
- You take picture inside Rangerover Sport, Infinity, Bently,BMW X6, then you want your boyfriend to believe you'r not cheating. ARE U A MECHANIC?
- Lazy men call the rich men ritualist while unlucky girls call the lucky ones prostitutes. Never mistake knowledge for wisdom
- You can't be UGLY and then play ''hard to get''. It doesn't work that way; you're already ''Hard To Want''.
- It’s only a Naija babe that will put on makeup right before she goes swimming.....end up turning the pool to rainbow
- I know money is not everything. I don't need everything, I need money.
- YOUR WAEC: BIO E8, ENG D7, MATH F9, YORUBA A1, COMMERCE D7, LIT. ENG F9, …10000 Twitter Followers. 'The devil is dancing Azonto with your destiny.
- Person + blackberry +BIS - Job = Twitter Celeb
-D'banj snubs Jazzy, Yvonne beefs Tonto, Kim rocks baby bump...They’re celebrities. They’ll sort themselves out. Worry about yourself dear. You don chop?
- Justin Bieber tweeted '2013' and got over 700,000 retweets. That alone is more than number of any superstar in 9ja. What did your nude avi's get you?
- MERLIN Season7 In the land of Boko Haram and the time of Fuel subsidy, the destiny of a great nation rest on the shoulder of a confused president. His Name:X
- Every pastor will claim he received a call from God. Whatever happened to Sms?
- Be honest; Would you slap your mum for $20,000,000,000 ??
- The difference between boy friend and boyfriend is that tiny little space called FRIEND ZONE.
- There's Always Gonna Be A Girl Hotter than your Gf. There's Always Gonna Be A Boy Richer than your Bf. LEARN TO BE CONTENTED!!!
- Guy: babe, I want u to follow me on twitter.
Babe: twitter? Pls let's go somewhere else, I don't like that restaurant!
- To those Girls spreading legs for guys, hoping they will marry them ...Continue the Promo.
- You saw someone beating your mum, you rushed into the house to fetch a weapon and found someone in bed with your wife. Which would u attend to 1st?
- A girl who laughs at your dry joke during a first date doesn't have transport money back home.
- You can't be speakin like Dame, dressing like Nicki Minaj, behaving lik Kim Kardashian and then expect to end up like Michelle Obama… Hell NO!
- GIRLS! Don't let your PRIDE and the society make you die single… DM that GUY now if you like Him.
- Never be sad if someone prefers another over you.... it’s always difficult to convince a monkey that strawberry is sweeter than banana.
- 30+ going on 40, "Davido is my role model". You need to sleep at the synagogue all year in 2013!
- Sometimes, I wish "RIP" meant "Return If Possible".
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore..... A dude was wearing one when he got shot by a womans husband.
- Somewhere in Naija, A Boo is Chilling with her Real Boo while another Boo is seriously trying her Number.
- If mosquito Land for your Father Head, you go kill am?
- The Only time a Man Can Remember All The girls he had Slept with is ....When his HIV RESULT is delayed.
- Your BOYFRIEND SLAPS you EVERYDAY and you are here FORMING WOMEN's RIGHTS ACTIVIST BECAUSE OF KAREN. I Pity you.
- You people think being unfollowed on twitter is Annoying. Have u ever been deleted on BBM
while typing a message? That shit is like rapture.
- Sex doesn’t keep a guy. If YOU like turn 360degree in bed, use him as DP 24/7,bleach till you become brighter than your future. if he wants to leave,he will!
- The number of "followers" you have does not make you better than anyone else. Hitler had millions,
Jesus had just 12.
- You masturbate with banana and you write TEAMVIRGIN in your bio, the Devil is playing suwe with your destiny.
- You're dating a girl for 6yrs and she has never Farted in front of you, break up with her, because if she can hide common fart for 6yrs den she has secrets.
- Nollywood please na! How can a ghost fall down while chasing someone?
- Are you feeling abandoned, neglected and you want your friends to have you at heart & constantly stay in touch? Borrow money from all of them & travel
- You're in church, sermon is going on and you're seriously busy changing Dp and Pm. What makes you better than the man Who's not in church?
- MTN should sponsor NYSC, so that there will be no service.
- Your boyfriend should not be your source of income. My dear it’s a relationship, not a job opportunity.
- Only in Nollywood that someone will die with an Afro and his spirit will come back with low cut. Abi Barbing salon dey that side?
- You Don't Need a car to Impress a LAUTech Girl… Just Wear a Starched Shirt and Hold a Car key!
- Nollywood will not kill Somebody… How can you open a casket and the corpse is sweating?
- Kim K 's stay in Nigeria reminds me of mercy johnson's verse in Aboki rmx.
- Which of these is the Hardest to find in Nigeria. (A) Virgins (B). Jobs (C). True Love ?
- 1970: You’ve to pull down the Panties to see the Buttocks.
2010: You’ve to separate the Buttocks to see the Panties
- Shoutout to the girls that lost their virginity on Feb. 14. RIP Virginity!
- Be careful Ladies, if you use the Electric Vibrator near Water, You will CUM and GO at the same time.
- Dear satan,just swallow the shame and apologize to God so that we will all go and live happily in d garden of Eden. As Fire dey burn you so, e sweet?
- If she has cough and catarrh before valentine, I don't see anything bad in wrapping Benylin and Tom Tom as her valentine gift.
- Life is too short to ask a stammerer for directions.
- That Mogbe Moment when you've been dubbing someone in an exam then suddenly, the person cancels the whole Page. *Dies*
- Some girls will have "Model" written in their bio's, yet the only places you'll see them modeling is with toilet mirrors.
- Men at 25 play Football, men at 40 play Tennis, men at 60 play Golf. Have you noticed that as you grow older your balls get smaller?
- Your BF beats you on a daily basis, yet you put his picture up and your BBM status reads 'You
bring out the best in me'... Are you a rag?
- You take picture, e no fine, you come dey claim say 'beauty is from within' .... Why you no take X-ray?
- Golden Morn is good, Corn Flakes is better. But at the mention of IJEBU GARRI every Flake must bow.
- Don't Ever do a Long distance relationship, masturbating to a Voice message from London is not your calling.
- You take picture inside Rangerover Sport, Infinity, Bently,BMW X6, then you want your boyfriend to believe you'r not cheating. ARE U A MECHANIC?
- Lazy men call the rich men ritualist while unlucky girls call the lucky ones prostitutes. Never mistake knowledge for wisdom
- You can't be UGLY and then play ''hard to get''. It doesn't work that way; you're already ''Hard To Want''.
- It’s only a Naija babe that will put on makeup right before she goes swimming.....end up turning the pool to rainbow
- I know money is not everything. I don't need everything, I need money.
- YOUR WAEC: BIO E8, ENG D7, MATH F9, YORUBA A1, COMMERCE D7, LIT. ENG F9, …10000 Twitter Followers. 'The devil is dancing Azonto with your destiny.
- Person + blackberry +BIS - Job = Twitter Celeb
-D'banj snubs Jazzy, Yvonne beefs Tonto, Kim rocks baby bump...They’re celebrities. They’ll sort themselves out. Worry about yourself dear. You don chop?
- Justin Bieber tweeted '2013' and got over 700,000 retweets. That alone is more than number of any superstar in 9ja. What did your nude avi's get you?
- MERLIN Season7 In the land of Boko Haram and the time of Fuel subsidy, the destiny of a great nation rest on the shoulder of a confused president. His Name:X
- Every pastor will claim he received a call from God. Whatever happened to Sms?
- Be honest; Would you slap your mum for $20,000,000,000 ??
- The difference between boy friend and boyfriend is that tiny little space called FRIEND ZONE.
- There's Always Gonna Be A Girl Hotter than your Gf. There's Always Gonna Be A Boy Richer than your Bf. LEARN TO BE CONTENTED!!!
- Guy: babe, I want u to follow me on twitter.
Babe: twitter? Pls let's go somewhere else, I don't like that restaurant!
- To those Girls spreading legs for guys, hoping they will marry them ...Continue the Promo.
- You saw someone beating your mum, you rushed into the house to fetch a weapon and found someone in bed with your wife. Which would u attend to 1st?
- A girl who laughs at your dry joke during a first date doesn't have transport money back home.
- You can't be speakin like Dame, dressing like Nicki Minaj, behaving lik Kim Kardashian and then expect to end up like Michelle Obama… Hell NO!
- GIRLS! Don't let your PRIDE and the society make you die single… DM that GUY now if you like Him.
- Never be sad if someone prefers another over you.... it’s always difficult to convince a monkey that strawberry is sweeter than banana.
- 30+ going on 40, "Davido is my role model". You need to sleep at the synagogue all year in 2013!
- Sometimes, I wish "RIP" meant "Return If Possible".
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore..... A dude was wearing one when he got shot by a womans husband.
- Somewhere in Naija, A Boo is Chilling with her Real Boo while another Boo is seriously trying her Number.
- If mosquito Land for your Father Head, you go kill am?
- The Only time a Man Can Remember All The girls he had Slept with is ....When his HIV RESULT is delayed.
- Your BOYFRIEND SLAPS you EVERYDAY and you are here FORMING WOMEN's RIGHTS ACTIVIST BECAUSE OF KAREN. I Pity you.
- You people think being unfollowed on twitter is Annoying. Have u ever been deleted on BBM
while typing a message? That shit is like rapture.
- Sex doesn’t keep a guy. If YOU like turn 360degree in bed, use him as DP 24/7,bleach till you become brighter than your future. if he wants to leave,he will!
- The number of "followers" you have does not make you better than anyone else. Hitler had millions,
Jesus had just 12.
- You masturbate with banana and you write TEAMVIRGIN in your bio, the Devil is playing suwe with your destiny.
- You're dating a girl for 6yrs and she has never Farted in front of you, break up with her, because if she can hide common fart for 6yrs den she has secrets.